Pervs of the gutter, stick together. *
Girlstalk 101 – Craftsmanship and Subtlety.
WARNING: Rated R for suggestive innuendo, two fu*k’s – which is NOT two fu*ks, kthx - and one mention of teh penoos.
This happened on the other side of the cyber-network – the Morbid Journal.
A little background; The Morbid Journal comprises mostly of girls - Chatty, noisy, drama-induced, friendly, horny girls. That part of the cyber space should be the ultimate wet dream comes true for any single homo sapiens of the male gender throughout this planet that is called earth. Should.
In reality, our rampage of morbid insanity has turned those – the XY-Chromosome of the specie – running away as fast – and as far - as their human ability, stubby hairy legs, and their internet speed could manage. The rest was made gay at the point of contact. It’s an uncharted territory where no man can cross the line. We like it. We are comfortable to talk about the other sex behind their back.
In honor of Avant-guarde day [see previous entry], allow me to introduce you to the enlightenment for the ‘opposite gender’; a heavy dosage of shock to your system...GIRLSTALK 101: Craftsmanship and Subtlety.
Things are not appeared as they seemed.
Unlike the point blank approaches of the boy’s locker room talks, girl’s talks are extremely crafty and very subtle. After all, we must be polite and lady-like at all times. *bat lashes and assume ‘innocent look’ position*
POSTER: Girlfriends!!1 I have abducted the mad skillz of adding wallpaper to my journal!!!!11!1 All y’all come check it out. Ph43r m3!!!1 LOL. LoL!!!!!111
[A note from the narrator: We are an exciting bunch, please excuse the abuses of the letter L.O.L. and the excessive usage of exclamation mark and the number 1, kthxbi.]
Anyway, where was I…Oh,
POSTER: [flashback] Ph43r m4h m4d ski11 Ownz!!!11!1 Lolololol!!!!111!11
OUR EPISODE: continues…
RESPONDER: Well, it looks like a guy, but...lo, may I say that all I see is hairy belly button and ummm...er..a nippy???
POSTER: fu*k..ur kidding, right? U don’t see teh face?
RESPONDER: Nope. Just the unspeakables. The posts covered the face. =(
POSTER: ... [assuming went back to check the page – narrator]
RESPONDER: Oh, and the crotch. I see the crotch!!
POSTER: Oh, then that’s fine. My work here is done. *snort*
RESPONDER: ...
POSTER: [after a few minutes] hahaha okay, I got it, you’ll still using the ‘small screen’. You’re suppose to see this [link to sexy well-known male model with sexy post without any sexy shirt on.]
POSTER: Please expand pix for full effect. kthx.
RESPONDER: I’ll have you know that mine is a sexy fifteen-inch, which would be an AVERAGE size for any Red-Blooded American, thank you very much!
INNOCENT LURKER #1: Fifteen inch!!!!1!1 O_o That would be quite huge and not at all average, if I may say so myself.
POSTER: *wink knowingly at RESPOMDER under the radar.* Actually, come to think of it, fifteen is a rather small on the average.
RESPONDER: Yesh! I believe the average, by today legal standard, would be twenty-and-one.
INNOCENT LURKER #1: I thought it was eighteen.
INNOCENT LURKER #2: Oooo, aRe wE TaLkiNg ‘boUt TEH PENOOS???!?!
ALL PREVIOUS CHATTERS: YES!!!!111!1 LOL!!1 Lololololollololo *pause to cough simultaneously like they just witness the invasion of the black plague before composing selves and continue to LOL* Loloololololo!!!!11!11 Ahem! *bat lashes and resume ‘innocent look’ position*
We are girls of Morbid Journal. Worship us now for we are crafty and subtle...and very much easily distracted [to be seen in Girlstalk 102: Distraction for the Innocence, coming soon to the t00b near you.] Our conversation of wise and wisdom shall carry on to eternity.Immorality Immortality is ours. We shall stick together, especially when the subject matter is headed for the gutter.
...
Oh, and in case I forget to tell you later:
Happy Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanzaa/Ramadan/Boxing Day/New Year!!
Peace. Love. And Unity.
Carpe Potus, lads. Seize your drink!! You deserve it after reading this entry.
*Disclaimer: Boldness writing style inspired by a hero, the actual discussion can be found at The Morbid Journal. kthxbi.
PS - This entry was done in honor of the Avant-guarde Day. Cleary, I was over excited by the hamburger I had for lunch. Cleary, they have inserted those patties with a copious amounts of crack! I'll have you know, fair readers, normally, I am the soul of decorum. That is all. You may return to your drinks.
WARNING: Rated R for suggestive innuendo, two fu*k’s – which is NOT two fu*ks, kthx - and one mention of teh penoos.
This happened on the other side of the cyber-network – the Morbid Journal.
A little background; The Morbid Journal comprises mostly of girls - Chatty, noisy, drama-induced, friendly, horny girls. That part of the cyber space should be the ultimate wet dream comes true for any single homo sapiens of the male gender throughout this planet that is called earth. Should.
In reality, our rampage of morbid insanity has turned those – the XY-Chromosome of the specie – running away as fast – and as far - as their human ability, stubby hairy legs, and their internet speed could manage. The rest was made gay at the point of contact. It’s an uncharted territory where no man can cross the line. We like it. We are comfortable to talk about the other sex behind their back.
In honor of Avant-guarde day [see previous entry], allow me to introduce you to the enlightenment for the ‘opposite gender’; a heavy dosage of shock to your system...GIRLSTALK 101: Craftsmanship and Subtlety.
Things are not appeared as they seemed.
Unlike the point blank approaches of the boy’s locker room talks, girl’s talks are extremely crafty and very subtle. After all, we must be polite and lady-like at all times. *bat lashes and assume ‘innocent look’ position*
POSTER: Girlfriends!!1 I have abducted the mad skillz of adding wallpaper to my journal!!!!11!1 All y’all come check it out. Ph43r m3!!!1 LOL. LoL!!!!!111
[A note from the narrator: We are an exciting bunch, please excuse the abuses of the letter L.O.L. and the excessive usage of exclamation mark and the number 1, kthxbi.]
Anyway, where was I…Oh,
POSTER: [flashback] Ph43r m4h m4d ski11 Ownz!!!11!1 Lolololol!!!!111!11
OUR EPISODE: continues…
RESPONDER: Well, it looks like a guy, but...lo, may I say that all I see is hairy belly button and ummm...er..a nippy???
POSTER: fu*k..ur kidding, right? U don’t see teh face?
RESPONDER: Nope. Just the unspeakables. The posts covered the face. =(
POSTER: ... [assuming went back to check the page – narrator]
RESPONDER: Oh, and the crotch. I see the crotch!!
POSTER: Oh, then that’s fine. My work here is done. *snort*
RESPONDER: ...
POSTER: [after a few minutes] hahaha okay, I got it, you’ll still using the ‘small screen’. You’re suppose to see this [link to sexy well-known male model with sexy post without any sexy shirt on.]
POSTER: Please expand pix for full effect. kthx.
RESPONDER: I’ll have you know that mine is a sexy fifteen-inch, which would be an AVERAGE size for any Red-Blooded American, thank you very much!
INNOCENT LURKER #1: Fifteen inch!!!!1!1 O_o That would be quite huge and not at all average, if I may say so myself.
POSTER: *wink knowingly at RESPOMDER under the radar.* Actually, come to think of it, fifteen is a rather small on the average.
RESPONDER: Yesh! I believe the average, by today legal standard, would be twenty-and-one.
INNOCENT LURKER #1: I thought it was eighteen.
INNOCENT LURKER #2: Oooo, aRe wE TaLkiNg ‘boUt TEH PENOOS???!?!
ALL PREVIOUS CHATTERS: YES!!!!111!1 LOL!!1 Lololololollololo *pause to cough simultaneously like they just witness the invasion of the black plague before composing selves and continue to LOL* Loloololololo!!!!11!11 Ahem! *bat lashes and resume ‘innocent look’ position*
We are girls of Morbid Journal. Worship us now for we are crafty and subtle...and very much easily distracted [to be seen in Girlstalk 102: Distraction for the Innocence, coming soon to the t00b near you.] Our conversation of wise and wisdom shall carry on to eternity.
...
Oh, and in case I forget to tell you later:
Happy Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanzaa/Ramadan/Boxing Day/New Year!!
Peace. Love. And Unity.
Carpe Potus, lads. Seize your drink!! You deserve it after reading this entry.
*Disclaimer: Boldness writing style inspired by a hero, the actual discussion can be found at The Morbid Journal. kthxbi.
PS - This entry was done in honor of the Avant-guarde Day. Cleary, I was over excited by the hamburger I had for lunch. Cleary, they have inserted those patties with a copious amounts of crack! I'll have you know, fair readers, normally, I am the soul of decorum. That is all. You may return to your drinks.
posted by Whitney @ 9:41 PM
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