Booty!

Dear Santa,

The long standing request of 25 hours a day has not been fulfilled. Please see to it.

Love,
Me

...

Dearest Mumsy and Duddy,

I am running away to join the Pirates in Buena Park. I do not wish to be sold to Scots of Clan McColin. Please tend to my flock of sheep for I do not wish them to be lonely, or walk down the wrong path (and get abducted by the Scots).

Love,
Me

...

My Dearest Madame Fortune,

Thank you for the luck, but, STILL NO BOYFRIEND!! Did you left him in YOUR bedroom? Please check.

Regards,
Me

...

Father Time and Mother Nature,

Messing around with my biological clock is NOT funny. Please stop right now.

No Love,
Me