You have to jump into the deep end of the pool and go for it. Even if it's half full.

Hello Bloggie,

Last update, sometimes in May. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? You probably think I have abandoned you, adopted new blog, got a new life or something of that nature.

No.

I’ve been dead. Yes. Dead. Not dead in the physical sense, but in spiritual sense. I’ve lost the will, the drive, the thrive to live on. I exist, but nothing else. Just there, ticking off the day, waiting, wishing I was dead and got angry because I was not.

I’ve tried to spark up the fire of life. Angry that I couldn’t. Hoping for something to happen to end this agony. Angry that it didn’t.

Not that I would go out of my way to end it, mind you. I’m too chicken for that.

So, yes, I’ve turned into a raging bitchy queen. Angry at the world, and everything, and everyone.

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I hate raging bitchy queen, much less wanted to see myself become one.

So, I struggled. Tried and tried to stop the spiral downward of this madness. Fail to succeed. And got even angrier.

Each day I woke up and tell myself, “Today is going to be perfect” and became angry because “today” was never perfect.

Then, three days ago, it coming to me, like the light that shines on the answer to the mystery of the universe, I figured it out. This is life. It’s not going to be perfect. It will never be perfect. It’s not suppose to. Life is about struggle. Life is about making the best of it, making the best of the imperfect. This is not heaven. This is not paradise. This is not the garden of Eden. *This* is life. It’s about the appreciation of those happy moments, cherish what life has to offer, enjoy what I have and be proud of what I accomplish.

The glass is half full, not half empty. It’s a matter of changing perspective.

I’m tired of being angry. I’m tired of falling endlessly downward the spiral of doom.

I still haven’t figured out the meaning of life. But for now, I’m willing to try this “half full” life out. We’ll just have to wait and see if this is the answer to the mystery of *my* universe.

Brace yourself, Bloggie. You are about to witness a change in one human’s life.