PEACE LOVE AND UNITY

Don't you blink when I shake hands with you. You don't know what these damn hands can do.

Monday, January 31, 2005

If i told you, you were beautiful...

Somedays, you just feel the lurve. Where everyone puts their hands together to work with you to get a common project done and it's done in just perfect pleasant and pleasing manner. Nobody bites anybody's head off. Just busy, but zen.

Today, is one of those days.
Mad kudos, folks! <333333

Feeling like I've been here before

I am standing on ground zero, frozen and transfixed, watching the world sped by at double-timed high. I see shadows of them rushed by but I don't think they see me.

Did I die because I cannot feel anything anymore? Or is it because I ceased to feel anything anymore, I am dead?

~*~*~*~*~*~

Totally off to the side: How do you tell someone that he has had it all wrong and life is just as easy as he is willing it to be?

Or, perhaps, it was I who have gotten it all wrong?

Friday, January 28, 2005

Inexplicably busy wtf?

Oh well, for your enjoyment while I can't do a real update.

Heh.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Question to the mass.

Fiction-wise, would you rather:

A) Read a fiction with happy ending.
B) Read a fiction with happy beginning but ends in tragedy.
C) Doom to the left <_< doom to the right >_> with a glint of brief happy bits in the middle.

Please response. Post anon, I don't mind. Answer twice, three times, one for each, if that is what you really believe. Long answer, short answer. Does not matter. If you've read this far, you've got to allow me to pick your brain. XD

Monday, January 24, 2005

If I told you, you were beautiful.

Dear Mr. Rain,

You could have come during the past weekend. But you didn't. You could have wait for this coming weekend. But you wouldn't.

You decided to drop by tomorrow and Wednesday. My working days.

You're breaking my heart. Have you no mercy?

Your thousand shattering pieces,
Me.

There's no need for Lucifer to fall, if only he keeps his mouth shut.

Dear Lord,

Please save me from my big mouth. I beg of you.

Please give me patience.

***

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred . . . let me sow love
Where there is injury . . . pardon
Where there is doubt . . . faith
Where there is despair . . .hope
Where there is darkness . . . light
Where there is sadness . . .joy
Divine Master,
grant that i may not so much seek
To be consoled . . .as to console
To be understood . . .as to understand,
To be loved . . . as to love
For it is in giving . . .that we receive,
It is in pardoning, that we are pardoned

- Saint Francis Prayer


***

Holy Kaboodle, and I'm not even religious but this *is* good.
HOPELESS. but good.

<_<>_>

Hold you tongue, Serpentine.
With all your might. And more.
Hold it down.

Good Morning, World!

HAHAHA!!! Mr. Fantastic!

I just love my world! ♥

Friday, January 21, 2005

Feed me, Seymore.

sohungryOMG!!! I'mma eat the nearest horse soon!!
**thuds**

ETA Had lunch. Stop. Is full and happy. Stop. Shall go back to work now. Full Stop.

Matter of perspective.

contact lenses = modern day torturing device. [Also known as the "tiny discs of torment"]

It's all aboout the packaging.

kjsafdgklj...

I want one for my cans collection! Honestly Really!

Spammage!!

Found this in the inbox.

WIGS! Not just for people without hair.
Duh! O.o

In other news, FRIDAY!!
Yay! \o/

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Fatal death.

Be wary of the Hot Sexy Voice Customer. The picture he sent may be lethal.
**sporks eyes**

Surfing the waves of The Nile...

"You're so deep in the closet, you're sitting on Christmas gifts."

Hahahah!! Oh.my.gawd!!
so true. so true.

Gimme some grubs, babeh!!

Is it lunch time yet?
**naghhhh**

Bliss.

Starbucks in the morning. Gosh, I am such a consumer h0r!

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Dear Lord.

Too much hormones going on today. Somebadeh hands me mancakes, pronto!

ETA: mancake samples.
Just so you know!

Blogger, I grrrr at you!!

I'd like the world to know that Blogger is the most difficult thing to set-up, edit, etc. So much frustration OMG!!!

No love,
Me.

Darth Tator, "Tots, I am your fatha!!

OMG!!HAHAHAHA!!!!

Today's news: This page is going under redesign. I've grown bored of sin.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

So Hungry OMG!!!

For lunch, tofu and pickle radish. O.o

Yumyum-ness.

Press 1 for apocalypse

RAGE, thy name is Splich.

Monday, January 17, 2005

Because I'm bored and also on cut-n-paste spammage high.

Let's play a game.

Apperently bloggers are movies people. So, come, don't be shy, name these quotes. I'll come back to this post and add the answer to them all on Friday. Yah?


1. Some people hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers. Can't even find a decent culture to get colonized by. We're ruled by effete assholes.

2. You know, I've tried all sorts of moisturizers. I even went fragrance free for a whole year. Now my sister, she uses some kind of uh... uh... uh... uh... aloe vera with a little sunscreen in it, and ideally, we should all wear gloves when going to bed, but I found out that that creates a kind of an interference with my... social agenda, you know what I mean.

3. Drug dealers wouldn't be caught dead in those polyester rags.

4. Back when I was picking beans in Guatemala, we used to make fresh coffee, right off the trees I mean. That was good. This is shit but, hey, I'm in a police station.

5. I'll tell you one thing. Men are bastards. After about ten minutes I wanted to cut my *own* penis off with a kitchen knife.

6. Look at that one there. Handmade in Italy, hand-stolen in Stepney. It's as long as my arm. I wish it was as long as something else.

7. Yippie-kay-yay motherfucker

8. Where is this "love"? I can't see it, I can't touch it. I can't feel it. I can hear it. I can hear some words, but I can't do anything with your easy words.

9. My only shot at ever being in a gang fight and all I get is one stitch? Chris is gonna think I'm a total failure!
10. I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.

11. There's no right, there's no wrong, there's only popular opinion.

12. Supercalifrajalisticexpialidocious.

Bonus:

13. Look, Your Worshipfulness, let's get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person: me

14. No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die.

Lots of cut-and-paste-ness cos I'mma lazy.

Happy MLK Day all. A brief homage to the legacy of a great man, in the words of not just one but three great men.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I Have a Dream

Delivered on the steps at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. on August 28, 1963

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.

No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.

I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true.

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

***

I, Too, Sing America
Langston Hughes

I, too, sing America.

I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.

Tomorrow,
I'll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody'll dare
Say to me,
"Eat in the kitchen,"
Then.

Besides,
They'll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed--

I, too, am America.

***

taken from "The Shadowland of Dreams" by Alex Haley

You've got to want to write, I say, not want to be a writer.

When I left a twenty year career in the Coast Guard to become a freelance writer, I had no prospects at all. What I did have was a friend in New York City, George Sims. George found me my home, a storage room in the Greenwich Village apartment building. It didn't even matter that it was cold and had no bathroom. I immediately bought a used manual typewriter and felt like a genuine writer.

After a year or so, however, I still hadn't gotten a break and began to doubt myself. It was so hard to sell a story that I barely made enough to eat. But I knew I wanted to write. I had dreamed about it for years. I wasn't going to be one of those people who die wondering, What if? I would keep putting my dream to the test--even though it meant living with uncertainty and fear of failure. This is the Shadowland of hope, and anyone with a dream must learn to live there.

Then one day I got a call that changed my life. On the phone was an old acquaintance from the Coast Guard. He had once lent me a few bucks and liked to egg me on about it. "When am I going to get that $15, Alex?" he teased.

"Next time I make a sale."

"I have a better idea," he said. "We need a new public information assistant out here, and we're paying $6,000 a year. If you want it, you can have it."

Six thousand a year! That was real money in 1960. I could get a nice apartment, a used car, pay off debts and maybe save a little something. What's more, I could write on the side.

As the dollars were dancing in my head, something cleared my senses. From deep inside a bullheaded resolution welled up. I had dreamed of being a writer--full time. And that's what I was going to be. "Thanks, but no," I heard myself saying. "I'm going to stick it out and write."

Afterward, as I paced around my little room, I started to feel like a fool. Reaching into my cupboard--an orange crate nailed to the wall--I pulled out all that was there: Two cans of sardines. Plunging my hands in my pockets, I came up with 18 cents. I took the cans and coins and jammed them into a crumpled paper bag. *There, Alex,* I said to myself.* There's everything you've made of yourself so far.* I'm not sure I've ever felt so low.

I wish I could say things started getting better right away. But they didn't. Thank goodness I had George to help me over the rough spots.

I met other struggling artists, like Joe Delaney. Often Joe lacked food money, so he'd visit a neighborhood butcher who would give him bones with morsels of meat and a grocer who would hand him some wilted vegetables. That's all Joe needed to make down-home soup.

Another neighbor was a handsome young singer who ran a struggling restaraunt. Rumour had it that if a customer ordered steak, the singer would dash to a market across the street to buy one. His name was Harry Belafonte.

I learned that you had to make sacrifices and live creatively to keep working at your dream. That's what living in the Shadowland is all about.

It was a long, slow climb out of the shadows. Yet in 1976, 17 years after I left the Coast Guard, Roots was published. Instantly I had the kind of fame and success that few writers ever experience. The shadows had turned into dazzling limelight. It was a confusing, exhilirating time, and in a sense I was blinded by the light of my own success.

Then one day, while unpacking, I came across a box filled with things I had owned years before in the Village. Inside was a brown paper bag.

I opened it, and there were two corroded sardine cans, a nickel, a dime, and three pennies. Suddenly the past came flooding in like a riptide. And I said to myself, *The things in this bag are part of my roots too. I can't ever forget that.*

I sent them out to be framed in Lucite. I keep that clear plastic case where I can see it every day. I can see it now above my desk in Knoxville, along with the Pulitzer prize; a portrait of nine Emmys awarded to the TV production of Roots; and the Spingarn medal--the NAACP's highest honor. I'd be hard pressed to say which means the most to me. But only one reminds me of the courage and persistence it takes to stay the course in the Shadowland.

It's a lesson anyone with a dream should learn.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

This is my truth. Tell me yours?

Because Teaspoon said, "Don't forget your blog."

Yes, I am guilty as charged. I've been hit with a little bump on the road called life and I ignored this demon child of mine that is called "THE BLOG", which is the direct descendent of The Blob, I think.

Kidding aside, it's our usual ranting time, boys and girls.

Today's topic: On-line Acquaintances, Are they real?

To me, on-line relationship developed on a different plane level from real-life relationship. It's more idealized. Certain things are more...intimate, for lack of a better word. These are people who do not know who I am, and specifically in my case, do not care. I picked my on-line friends from certain communities, and to me, which automatically translated to common interest.

Because the internet is a global worldwide communication tool, the market is definitely bigger than what is available in my hometown. Hence, I have much better chance of finding someone with the same brainwave pattern, same ideology, same way of thinking and looking at the world. I am not limited by any physical specification, it's their brain I've befriended with, and with that common-ness, I am able to tell them all my darkest thoughts without being afraid of rejection.

I've been picked-up, brushing the dust off, pep-talked and send back to the battlefield of Life's War quite a few times too many to called them anything others than "friends". These so-called "internet friends" do not know me and do not have any benefit in my life other than the pleasure of having myself present on the chatroom. They desire nothing but merely my company.

I'm not saying real-life friends are not that, but it's much easier to see the ulterior motives.


Real-life friends are more limited by the physicality of the relationship. The relationship is a bit more...fragile, again, for lack of a better word. There may be differences of opinion, but these are people, who deep down inside of me, I know cares for me and have nothing but the best of intentions toward me – and they said, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" – and I see them everyday, hence, middle ground must be reached.

You wouldn't take your best friend from Sunday School to a topless show in Vegas, would you?

Curiosity is my devil's plaything. I like to see life from different angles and perspectives. It is unfair of me to subject people around me to such exposure just to satisfy my own inquisitive nature. On-line communities are readily available for that.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Tomorrow if I have time: Lara Croft versus Pamela Anderson, is wanking off to fantasizing about one more real than the other?

Because, honestly, the chance of me doing the naughty with either Clark Kent or Tom Welling is equally zilch. But since Tom Welling is an actual real life actor, does that mean he possess more...je ne sais quoi?

...that is, if I'm up to it because I'm just flicker that way.

Friday, January 07, 2005

We made fun of the thing we love.

It annoys me to no end when someone picked on my accents. Accents are fun and unique factors, they make languages colorful – and I’m not even going to go into regional sentence structures, idioms, sayings, allegories, parables, metaphors, analogies and all that at the moment.

I’m an Asian girl who went to boarding school taught by English nuns and spent her teenage life rocking to Cindi Lauper in the United States. Even experienced linguistics cannot place my origin. I’m a unique, with a funny accent, of course. Of course.

The thing is, I’ve been poked fun of my accent too many times, so, basic survival instinct, I put things in my own words – a lot – just to avoid saying the words that I’m not comfortable with.

Well, enough ranting…here is something fun for you to do, boys and girls!

1. How do you pronounce the word aunt?
Like the word ant
Like the word want
Like the word caught
I pronounce all three the same.
... ohdear. this is going to be difficult, isn't it? ahnt. like that.

2. How do you pronounce caramel?
Two syllables ("car-ml")
Three syllables ("car-a-mel") THERE IS THREE SYLLABLES THERE, HEATHENS.
Either way but I mainly use car-ml

3. How do you pronounce coupon?
Like the word coup ("coopon")
Like the word cute ("cyoopon")
I do it both ways depend on who I’m talking to.

4. How do you pronounce crayon?
Like word man (One syllable, "cran")
Like the word rayon (Two syllables, "cray-ahn") only with an 'o'. because I'm English that way.
Like the word crown (pronounced the same way)

5. How do you pronounce creek?
Rhymes with meek
Rhymes with brick

6. How do you pronounce the second syllable in pajamas?
Like the word jam mmmm, jam.
Like the word mom
Like jar, “pa-JA-mus” *nods*
Either way

7. How do you pronounce pecan?
Stress the first syllable, end in an ("PEE-can") (wtf is a pecan, btw?)
Stress the second syllable, end in an ("pee-CAN")
Stress the first syllable, end in ahn ("PEE-Kahn")
Stress the second syllable, end in ahn ("pee-KAHN")
Like "pick Ann"

8. How do you pronounce route?
Rhymes with hoot
Rhymes with out
Both way (but mostly rhymes with hoot)

9. How do you pronounce the first vowel in syrup?
Like "sear-up"
Like "sih-rup" as in sir
With a long I, like “SI-rup”, like that!

10. How do you pronounce insurance?
Stress on the first syllable, like IN-surance
Stress on the second syllable, like inSURance
Either way
No stress. Dude, who gets stress about insurance?

11. How do you pronounce mayonnaise?
Two syllables, like "man-aze"
Three syllables, like "may-uh-naze"
I use both

12. How do you pronounce roof?
Like the word "food"
Like the word "foot"

NAMING THINGS

13. What do you call the long sandwhich made with cold cuts, lettuce, tomatoes, etc.?
Sub
Grinder
Hoagie
Hero
Bomber
Italian
Sandwich
Baguette
Sarney (does anyone over ten say this?)

14. What do you call the insect that flies around in the summer & glows in the dark?
Lightning Bug
Firefly
Peenie Wallie (AHAHAHAH WTF?)
I use both firefly & lightning bug

15a. What nicknames do you use for your grandmother(s)? (Check all that apply).
Grandma
Grandmother
Granny
Nan or Nana
Mom Mom
Mee-Maw
Ooooo, “Gram-ma”, like that.

15b. What nicknames do you use for your grandfather(s)? (Check all that apply).
Grandpa
Grandfather
Grandad
Gramps
Pappy/Poppy
Pop-Pop
Papa
I don't have any, sod off.

16. What general term do you use for rubber soled shoes used in athletic activities?
Sneakers
Tennis Shoes
Gym shoes
Running shoes
Other. This is like a trick question, isn't it?

17. What do you call the little grey bug that rolls into a ball when you touch it?
Roly Poly
Doodle Bug
Potato Bug
Pill Bug
Sow Bug
WHY WOULD I WANT TO TOUCH A BUG?

18. What do you use to collect groceries at the supermarket?
Shopping Cart
Buggy
Grocery Cart
Carriage
Trolley
Other

19. What is your generic term for a sweetened, carbonated beverage?
Soda
Pop
Coke
Tonic
Other A carbonated beverage, or the brand name.

20. What is the distinction between dinner and supper?
Supper is the evening meal, dinner comes earlier (lunch, for example)
Supper is a light evening meal, dinner comes earlier & is the main meal
Dinner takes place in a more formal setting
I don't use the term supper
Other
I’m a greedy sod, so I use them both interchangeably. :D


Oy! That took longer than I thought. And now, Phantom of the Opera, the movie.

I loved it. I was afraid that I wouldn’t. But I did.

Except for the bit in the cemetery, which reminded me of Gotham City, which also made me squirmed in my seat out of boredom – okay, I got it. It’s a very gray and gloomy cemetery with gray and gloomy statues and tombstones. I GOT IT. (and this, coming from a set design hor, like myself, NOT GOOD. - and dude, the two gate statues thingy, so Lord of the Rings’ “statues of the Argonath” wanna be, except they are a tad creepier. Then, I was saved by Christine’s heaving bosom. And when a girl get excited about another girl’s heaving bosom, she must be VERY bored.

AND THEN, THERE WERE SWORDS FIGHT, OMG!!

I don’t remember Christine being so wimpy in the play, but I saw it a couple years ago and I was concentrated more on the oooh and the ahhh of the set, then. But OMG!!! The boy got swords and you’re just standing there, you lame-o!!

I also do not remember being annoyed by the music when I watched it as a play, then again, the oooh and the ahhh of the set and all that. The movie, though, music drags on..and on..and on. There’s 2 tunes. Count them. ONE. TWO. And the rhymes are quite predictable.

But, ABSOLUTELY, I’d sit through the whole thing again just for the 2 minutes screen time with the prancy-dancy boy in mask with fan - 2 fans, in fact – in the Masquerade Balls scene. OMG, mysterious dancy-prancy boy, I LURVE you!!

Oh yeah, Minnie Driver. I worship thee. Always have, always will. XD

Well, have a good weekend, fellow blogger. Next up date, possibly Monday. Same blog time, same blog channel.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

The sun looks awkward and vulnerable without the clouds in front of the blue behind.

Language is a flickering thing.
It lives. It breeds. It thrashes and twisted.
Some words newly created, freshly born.
Some words old, struggling to be remembered.

Words can be kind and gentle.
And with a twist, cut-throat and brutal.

--Cuts like a poem--
--Reads like a pie--

Slips like liquid poison from one's tongue
Slides to the trapping cells of one's mind

...and the boy's gleaming smile
Is just a tad too sharp
On this edge of the butcher's knife.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Wounded people look so naked.

It's not the pain.
It's this surprise that 'oh fuck i'm fallible'
Don't you think it's kind of funny?

…Pride.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

My heart flutters like a frighten bird in the golden cage.

Is it just me or is Closer a really brutal movie?

Seeing the trailer scares the bajeewiz out of me. My mom wanted to see it. My co-workers wanted to see it. My sister wanted to see it, but I think that's purely based on the Jude Law factor.

Not me. I, on the other hand, as much as I like Jude Law, have been side-stepping around this movie until now. The subject matter of the story is way more horrid then the explicit graphics of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. That is, in my humble opinion, of course.

I kept wondering why no one else seems to be bothered by this.

A friend went to see it and she came back with, "I understand what you mean now. This movie is emotionally brutal. The characters' behavior is gritty and awful. Angst. Angst. Angst." And I exhaled, finally, somebody understands.

"Darling," she continues, "You are a romantic and you cannot tolerate such exhibition of cruelty but go see this movie and you will appreciate the surrealism of it. You’ll love it for the words alone."

have you ever seen a human heart? it looks like a fist wrapped in blood.

...
..

Guess where I’m going to take my mom to this weekend?

Sometimes you count the day, sometimes you just let it slips away.

It's been raining for a week and suddenly..
It stops.

I miss the pitty-patty drops of the falling water.

--Fallen little angels showering the world with hope.--
--Symbol of life. The Earth's own blood.--
--How much is too much?--

Given the time, little raindrops can cut through solid rock.

...Patience.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Testing. Testing. 1..2..

Here be me, with another blog.

I don't usually do this sort of thing because it's extremely time consuming to keep up a blog. But Teaspoon said, "Come read my blog." And it's common courtesy for one to read a blog and leave a comment so that the blogger can feel the lurve.

I may shed my skin and leave a false name but posting under "anonymous" is such unknown.

One can choose to be noticed. Or not.

But to be there; a nameless face in a nameless crowd is just not my nature.

~*~*~*~*~


English is not my first language. Nor second. Nor third, at the matter of fact. If something I write is unclear, you are more than welcome to ask.

I may not have an answer. Or I may.

I like things cryptic and vague. And I may choose to keep it that way. I am not complicated if you know what to look for.

Follow my thoughts, if you dare...